Things you might like to say to a co-worker

Things you might like to say to a co-worker - Printable Version

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- rickheel - 08-30-2002 07:39 AM

Things you would love to say at work
>
> 1. I see your point, but I still think you're full of it.
> 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
> 3. How about never? Is never good for you?
> 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.
>
> 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my
way.
>
> 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
> 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
> 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
> 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
> 10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
> 11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
> 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
> 13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
> 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
> 15. I will always cherish the ini tial misconceptions I had about you.
> 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of
> view.
> 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
> 18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
> 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!
> 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
> 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
> 23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
> 24. Do I look like a people person?
> 25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
> 26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
> 27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
> 28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
> 29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
> 30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
> 31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
> 32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
> 33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
> 34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
> 35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
> 36. Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.
> 37. How do I set a laser printer to stun
>

- rickheel - 08-30-2002 07:40 AM

#38-Yes, that was me with the Power Ball winning ticket.

- Tenmile - 08-30-2002 08:18 AM

(In response to "I heard what you said!")

"You heard my words but you did not process them in your brain before the reply came out of your mouth."

(Actually heard in a meeting!)

- NOLEY - 08-30-2002 08:39 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by rickheel:
Things you would love to say at work
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
<hr /></blockquote>These explain the THE SHIFT FROM HELL These are the things they say over the radio, they are so classy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="rolleyes.gif" />

~NOLEY~ <img border="0" alt="[Wavy Guy]" title="" src="graemlins/wave.gif" />

- TDMs Alias Name - 08-30-2002 06:31 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> 25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
<hr /></blockquote>Yep-that applies to me. And I work in a Church!