And all through the house,

Not a Clemson fan was stirring :ninja:

Not even a tiger

The recruit bribes were mailed, by the HC office with care,

In hopes some HS star would soon flounder there

The frats were nestled, all snug in their beds,
With visions of Playboy Playmates dancing through their heads.

Sparky Woods in his 'kerchief and Joe Lee Dunn in his cap
Had just settled down for a loooong coaching nap

When out on the street there arose such a protest,
I sprang from my bed to see which FSU cheerleader had been subject to molest.



<!--EDIT|georgia_tech_swagger|Dec 24 2002, 01:41 PM-->

Then away from the uprights, Betia's kick flew like a flash
It sure seems Miami pays off Nole kickers with mucho cash

Then came the Egg Bowl, what could be all the clatter
Nope, no cowbells tonight, they didn't even matter

I asked myself, "What in tarnation?"
The resounding answer: "Oh, just another SEC team on probation."

With Ol' Man Bowden so slowly dimwitted
He plausibly denies all the wrongdoings committed
More rabid than wolves his players they err
So much so they're on first name basis with the county prosecutor

Now, Thrasher! Now, (Poll) Dancer!, Now Thrasher and Slept in!
On, Vomit! On, Stupid! On Squander and Vixen!
To the top of the prison cell block! To the the guarded wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!!

As Coack K hits on young men with comments of "angelic eyes"
Dubose now loses consistently at a school de high

Away to the checkout counter those Noles flew like a flash,
Ringing up shoes and jeans without the least bit of cash.
"Don't worry," exclaimed the booster...err, cashier, "I've got it covered."
"Just make sure you beat the spread down in the Sugar."

Up in his bed, Chrissy Simms, donned in his "Hook em Whorns" t-shirt,
has nightmares about never throwing a meaningful pass for paydirt.

Over in Aggieland, Coach Fran sits in his office and beems with joy,
He's got a secretary that Dubose left behind - his new favorite toy.

As sure as a 'Husker throws his date down the stairs
And to reasons of firing, Nolan claims to be unaware
Mack Brown laments yet another imminent Cotton Bowl loss
While Guy Morriss soon realizes Baylor wins for no boss

Coach Richt's droll little mouth was drawn up like a rock,
And the only thing on his mind was how to read that darn game clock!