Week 2 AAC Bottom 10: L on your forehead
Around here, perhaps we got too caught up in point spreads last week that we forgot what comes first in this game, it’s simply - winning.
But in the bottom 10 game, the corollary might be even more pertinent. If you want to come last, it’s about losing.
And week two saw ample competition in that arena as nearly dozens of current and former AAC teams insisted on saying, “no! You go ahead” and take the inside track to the NYD6.
Luckily, the American still has a strong stable of contenders for the top non-AQ team honor. But can we also take a minute to brag on a deep bench of newly-minted non-contenders!
1-Houston (NR). Wow, even the biggest Rice homer did not see this shellacking coming. The Cougars, having missed an obvious opportunity last week to get UTSA off to a strong start, made up for it this week in their first Bayou Bucket loss since (checks notes)… 2010?! That was two Conference homes ago for Houston. The loss by UH was so bad that the Big 12 called Michael Aresco to ask about the return policy.
Hell, it was so bad that I turned off the game before halftime. UH was down 28-0 midway thru the second quarter. Did anyone even watch the second half to see what the final score ended up being? I bet Rice hung 50+ on them and won it going away!
2- North Texas (1) We wanted to move UNT “up” from last week’s spot but there was no where to put them. I’m sure they’ll have ample opportunity to move back to #1 once Houston starts running roughshod through the Big 12. The Mean Green lost to FIU, who lost to LaTech, who lost to….
3- SMU! (NR), who lost to Oklahoma. Ponies fans might try to claim this as a moral victory being within a TD in the 4Q. To which I would say, there is no “moral” victory for a team bribing their way to the ACC. At least this go round it’s not against the rules. Either the Mustangs got more moral since back in my day, or the rules got less moral.
4- ECU (NR). Making the big move up into our survey this week are the Pirates of PissAnts, who did not handle the weather delay against Mars Hall very well. These Pirates don’t appear to be as equipped to *weather the storm* as most other Pirates on the high seas. As such, we’ll grade them with a low “C”. As in, possibly the lowest in the whole state of Carolina with a capital C, or would be were it not for…
5-charlotte (9), with a lower case c! The 49 ers had a splendid first half on national tv against the turtles. But they melted in the second half faster than those tasty chocolate pecan caramel candies do. Only ECU could keep them from making their namesake move to-4-from-9 this week. No worries, it all made for great theater on NBC and the HBO reality-based docu-dramedy.
6- Temple (4). The Philadelphiowls gained a modicum of respect, despite their first loss, by kind of sort of hanging around an unbeaten power-two big-ten team, aka Rutgers. Rutgers is ranked 26 nationally in at least one metric this week (and not even involving academics) and ya gotta say Temple (1-1) is still mathematically alive for that NYD6 spot. But they sure didn’t play like it this week.
7-Tulsa (5) also inches closer to escaping the Bottom Ten by showing a national top ten team that we here in the American can score Touchdowns (okay, A touchdown) on ANYBODY. *(checks notes…. well technically ECU didn’t last week, nor did Navy the week before… )
What I mean is starting THIS WEEK we here in the American can score touchdowns* on ANYBODY!!! (*-or, A touchdown). Thank you Tulsa!
8-FAU (8) The Boca Ratowlns held steady this week after losing to Ohio, and we should have seen it coming. Neil Young even predicted it.
A cougar fan posted a simple comment in the Rice game thread: “S*ck it, Owls”.
A Rice fan responded with a Richard Nixon meme based on the 70s docu-dramedy “Laugh-In” responding: “Sock it to me?”
Neil Young quickly penned a response in warning to the other owls:
Tin soldiers and Nixon’s calling
We’re finally in the AAC
This summer I hear the Replacements™
FAU’s dead in Ohio
I hope Neil Young will remember that he got the location of the game wrong (it was played in Boca) but otherwise his warning was spot on.
9-UAB (NR) The Georgia Southern Men kept their heads and outlasted the Blazers in a back and forth contest. Like so many others this week, it also ended with the team wearing the big A on their pads with their finger and their thumb in the shape of an L on the crown of their helmets. The Blazers weren’t favored in the game but it woulda coulda shoulda been a good win.
10- Tulane (10) Hey now, Tulane’s QB is an All-Star, but when your all-star QB is a last minute game-time scratch it can sound like a record scratch across your CFP hopes. The Wave battled early but Old Mizz got the better of them. Tulane’s NYD6 path is still ahead of them, but they will need their #1 Crush back if they’re going to make another magical run this season. And if not, I will lie for you, beg and steal for you. But I won’t pick you to beat Sou Mizz next week.
Bubbling under the bottom ten: Navy (1-1), UConn (0-2), Rice second half performances (0-2, allegedly), the entire AAC’s second half performances (2-26), Memphis’ strength of schedule, and Washington State’s prospects of joining the league.
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... There's still some time to figure out things, but the Defense is quite concerning... we have to whup UL this week - then collect the $EC bones in Athens - before cranking up in Conference Play... 
...who knows, we might shock the world in Athens next week... well, maybe hold them under 100, anyway... (hoping THIS ages better...