We took a couple weeks off here at the AAC Bottom Ten, but then so did the league OOC.
To celebrate Memphis overcoming their late arriving attendance issues and a slow start to snuff the Boise Boiz (and avoid the B10 for now) we are back and badder than ever!

We are aligning with ESPN’s Team Efficiency Index this week, not because we are lazy, but because we are efficient and do not believe in doing unnecessary work that has already been completed satisfactorily. With that in mind, we bring you… the totally legit metrics-based AAC Bottom Ten!

1-Temple of the Dog 2-3,0-1 (Last week:1) Temple parlayed their Friday Night conference opener loss at the hands of Tulsa into solidifying the primo spot in our list. The Bottomest Owls also burrowed deep into our national list at #7 (the only AAC team representing in the national bottom 10). Temple’s two wins aren’t fooling us. They just squeaked by #18 Akron at home, and beat FCS Norfolk covering the spread, but became the first FBS team to allow a safety to Norfolk since the D-1AA split*. *-We actually didn’t check that last stat, and it’s NOT because we’re lazy.

2-Navy North Stars 1-3,0-2 (LW:5). Navy played Memphis close but ran into a rapidly improving SoFlo squad to make this team the first to two L’s in conference play. Now, the two L Llama might be a beast, but the two L Navy is already two games out of first, and a solid #2 on our countdown. kind of smelling like that other solid #2.

3-Charlotte 29-ers 1-4,0-1 (LW:3) as in 29.1 out of a possible 100.0 points on the team efficiency metric. Around here we have a term for that. We call that “not very efficient”. Charlotte can console itself with the fact that while the 29ers nickname is meant to be demeaning in the college football sense, it sounds very cool in the mountain biking sense. 29ers with 29 inch wheels are cool. We do hope they’re not exaggerating their wheel diameter. Nice try knocking off smoo but, at least you still own the ponies in non-American American football.

4-UNTer glieben glauchen globen 2-2,0-0 (LW:2) UNT has really trended positively as the season has gone on and it’s got them out of the cellar and up in to the bougie basement. At a national #25 they are no longer a factor in the national B10 (that’s Bottom Ten not Big Ten).
We can read a trend line to see UNT’s hapless defense improve each and every week. We have done some curve fitting and expect them to give up 3 fewer points next week to Navy (28) since they’ve reduced their points allowed each week by 12, 9, and 6 points, in that order. That may sound like good news to the Mean Green, but it’s really not. The curve is a parabola and after giving up another 28 to Temple the UNT defense will probably start to retrograde progressively worse again until finishing the season allowing 58 to SMU (believable), 73 to Tulsa (maybe), and finishing with allowing 91 to UAB (whaaaa?). But the numbers don’t lie…

5-ECU Irates 1-4,0-1(LW:7) The fans were pretty irate at the scurvy crew and their dinghy captain running aground in William Rice Marsh. Bright spots for ECU were: outgained the Owls by a whole lot, out first downed the Owls by a whole lot, and out field goaled the Owls by a whoooooole lot. Might have been even closer if ECU had kicked a couple more FGs instead of getting snuffed on 4th and short in the 2H. We just hope ECU doesn’t look past smoo to the rivalry game and potential AAC pillow fight of the month vs CLT in two weeks. You go ahead and focus on the ponies but we’ll circle our calendar for 10/21.

6-FAU Ow!Ls 1-3,0-0 (LW:8) How FAU gained 2 spots on a bye week is a mystery, since it was really their best week of football this season. The middling Owls look forward to opening Conference play next week with their first 6 games against other teams ranked on this bottom ten list. FAU hosts Tulsa next week and we look forward to finding out who’s a Bottom Ten Contender… And who’s a Pretender!

7-UTSA United Tennis States Association 1-3,0-0(LW:6). Chrissy Hynde would certainly claim Frank Harris and UTSA as fellow Pretenders to Bottom Ten contention. The Yout-sahs are rested and ready to go up to Philly to feast on some cheesesteak and Burrowing Owl

8-UAB Casual Blazers 1-4,0-1 (LW:4) These Blazers have really been setting fashion trends lately and have moved up from losing to SBC teams in weeks 2-3 to losing to NYD and CFP teams in weeks 4-5. The Blazers put a scare into Tulane but -- “message received” all across college football: UAB ain’t afraid of losing to anybody anytime anywhere anyone any many miney mo!
That’s good cause UAB has first place SoFlo dropping by next week to say hi!

9–Tulsa Rock you like a Hurricane 3-2,1-0(LW:10) What is a team like Tulsa, still in the running for the NYD berth, doing here in the Bottom Ten? Two reasons: the AAC is so strong that our Bottom Ten necessarily must include some national teams of note, plus, it’s too early to turn to AAC alumni to fill out the rankings. Tulsa is actually in pretty solid shape and we can’t pick nits when their only two losses are to national top ten caliber squads. So instead of picking nits, we’ll pick zits!

10-SoFlo BullS***s 3-2,2-0(LW:9) This will almost certainly be SoFlo’s last in this list as they have quickly gelled into another outside NYD contender. The metrics weight week one equally to week 5 and haven’t caught up with the BullS trajectory. Again, we won’t pick nits, we’ll just BullS*** you into claiming they’re a bottom ten squad when in reality SoFlo is so over that scene. They’re the first AAC team to notch two conference wins and while we aren’t ready to crown them the favorites… they ARE ready to rumble.

Watch list: UConn, UHouston, CennFlo, CinCin, SMU early exit fee negotiations, Rice Defense, Rice Penalties, Rice Dumb Luck, Rice Efficiency Index Hacking Team, and the entire SEC.

(10-01-2023 02:45 PM)owl at the moon Wrote:   4-UNTer glieben glauchen globen

Personal foul, 10-yard penalty for unnecessary use of Def Leppard lyrics.

(10-01-2023 03:01 PM)msu35 Wrote:  

(10-01-2023 02:45 PM)owl at the moon Wrote:   4-UNTer glieben glauchen globen

Personal foul, 10-yard penalty for unnecessary use of Def Leppard lyrics.

You know, that’s a really good idea. We could do a whole week of all Def Leppard lyrics…

My congrats to the OP. That's a lot of work to maybe pull a laugh out of folks here. Good job.

How about next week you do the Bottom Ten with nothing but "Yo Mamma" joke format. For example....

UNT's defense is so clueless, they thought a quarterback was a refund.

(10-01-2023 03:54 PM)owl at the moon Wrote:  

(10-01-2023 03:01 PM)msu35 Wrote:  

(10-01-2023 02:45 PM)owl at the moon Wrote:   4-UNTer glieben glauchen globen

Personal foul, 10-yard penalty for unnecessary use of Def Leppard lyrics.

You know, that’s a really good idea. We could do a whole week of all Def Leppard lyrics…

Anyone who can fit that lyric in gets +3. Well done.

clt says utsa mbb should be permanent at one on the bottom ten

(10-01-2023 05:49 PM)ghostofclt! Wrote:  clt says utsa mbb should be permanent at one on the bottom ten

I’m trying to go easy on them, they catch enough grief. Don’t forget their glory days when they had that one guy who could shoot 3s lights out.

(10-02-2023 12:30 AM)owl at the moon Wrote:  

(10-01-2023 05:49 PM)ghostofclt! Wrote:  clt says utsa mbb should be permanent at one on the bottom ten

I’m trying to go easy on them, they catch enough grief. Don’t forget their glory days when they had that one guy who could shoot 3s lights out.

Wasn’t that on a 7.5’ goal in someone’s driveway? I can’t remember, but that guy could ball.

(10-02-2023 08:07 AM)cscottl1981 Wrote:  

(10-02-2023 12:30 AM)owl at the moon Wrote:  

(10-01-2023 05:49 PM)ghostofclt! Wrote:  clt says utsa mbb should be permanent at one on the bottom ten

I’m trying to go easy on them, they catch enough grief. Don’t forget their glory days when they had that one guy who could shoot 3s lights out.

Wasn’t that on a 7.5’ goal in someone’s driveway? I can’t remember, but that guy could ball.

Nah, one of these: