-Delaware
BLUE HENS
-FIU
PANTHERS
-Jax St.
GAMECOCKS
-Kenny
OWLS
-La Tech
BULLDOGS
-Liberty
FLAMES
-MTSU
BLUE RAIDERS
-NMSU
AGGIES
-Sammy
BEARKATS
-UTEP
MINERS
-WKU
HILLTOPPERS
I would immediately say the first casualties would be the
chickens. Sorry
Jax St. and
Delaware. They would most likely fall to
Panthers, though I’m not sure if
Owls, as predatory birds, hunt meals as large as
chickens or not. If so, they’d take out the
chickens too. Regardless, the
Owls would be the next to meet it’s end in this battle, most likely at the hands, er…uh, teeth, claws of the
Panthers,
Bulldogs, or
Bearkats. Sorry about your loss
Kenny. Speaking of
Bearkats, I’m giving
Sammy the benefit of the doubt and going with the more formidable mythical half bear half cat beast rather than the more docile binturang. This sets up the next chain of events. The
Bulldog will fall prey to the
Panther, and the
Panther will fall prey to the
Bearkat. So that does in
La Tech and
FIU. This leaves only the
Bearkat, the
Flames, the
Blue Raider and the humans left. Quick speculation… I assume the
Raider is actually the horse and not a person on the horse. I never find any reference to a person. And, I am assuming a
Hilltopper is a person who lives on top of a hill… am I right? So here goes nothing. The
Miners came up out of the mines in those hills with their picks and hammers and bountiful loads of gold, silver, or coal. They converted that to cash and with their wealth and grizzled hard domineering behavior subjugated the citizen people from the tops of the hills. Soooo the
Hilltoppers have been overpowered. Sorry
WKU. But that darn
Bearkat is still out their in hiding, occasionally picking off an unsuspecting
Hilltopper or
Miner. So the
Aggie, like all good cowboys, was taming wild horses, known as
Blue Raiders. After he had broken them, sorry
MTSU, your time is up, he mounted his favorite and headed toward the hills. On his way to the hilltop he crossed paths with the
Bearkat. With guns blazing he shot that
Bearkat down dead in its tracks, skinned it, and made a nice rug. He buried the carcas in a shallow grave that said here lies
Sammy. The cowboy continued to the top of the hill and restored peace and civility over the
Miners and
Hilltoppers who lived on the top of the hill.
Pistol Pete had the guns to lay down the law and enforce his way with authority. So yes, the
Miners and
Hilltoppers were put in their place. What became of the
Flames you ask? Well, they occassionally pop up here and there, sometimes causing damage but usually being controlled by
Aggies,
Miners, and
Hilltoppers. Sorry
Liberty, your
Flames are usually a controlled burn that people can put out.
So the last man standing in this battle of the CUSA mascots is Pistol Pete, the New Mexico State Aggie!
Prove me wrong!
