So last Saturday I'm busying helping the American BBS community heal after the disastrous NCAA tournament showing. I was doing some real work when all of a sudden the lights went out. At first I couldn't tell if I had lost consciousness or had been teleported to another location. I immediately reached for my buttocks to check for trauma. Having read stories about good folks getting ethered and violated was my first real concern. Everything seemed normal down there. My next thought was food poisoning. BC1 had given me a 1/2 price offer on a hamburger/milkshake combo at the local Dairy Whip. Other than a chalky residue still lingering in my mouth due to the Whip's notorious reputation for using cheap dairy substitutes, I felt fine.
I stretched my arms out in the near darkness and walked until I could feel something... anything. My hands discovered a smooth and cold wall. I followed the wall for a while noting the edges and corners as I passed over each one. I think I counted 10, but it was difficult to know where the walls began and where they ended. Just then I heard some voices above me; I could have swore there was chuckling. I stood perfectly still and strained to make out the words... Iowa... Shucker... LoLomax... "WTF?" I thought to myself. Then it started to sprinkle but this was no spring shower. It was warm and acidic to the taste. Then I heard more chuckling.
The "rain" eventually stopped and now there was a tiny light shining down from where I had heard the voices. I could make out faint etch marks on the walls. I quickly went over to a wall hoping to find anything that could tell me where I was.
P...A...Y...D...A...Y...W...A...S...H...E...R...E...W...S...U...S...U...C...K...S
WTF??? Now I'm getting worried. This can't be a nightmare, this has got to be something far worse... I found many more names and messages on the walls: "Obsession noted! signed, ShockerFever", "I will not be broken by tyrants -BC1". BC1 actually wrote the most messages on the walls - some were in Latin and Chinese and very ancient. The more I looked, the more messages I found. There must have been thousands. Many had very poor grammar along with images drawn of a small red bird next to a man with an evil face in a fine Italian suit. "Was this Satan?" I thought to myself, "Am I in hell???" Where did everybody go?
Just then I started rising towards the little light above me. As I rose the light grew bigger. I could make out colors now... blues and reds. I looked back down to the ground at the room I had been trapped in. It did in fact have 10 corners. It was star shaped! Outside the room there was a retaining wall encircling everything. "FFS!" I muttered, "I was standing in a pentagram!" "I WAS in hell!" I looked back up and the light was shining brightly now. I could see the American BBS logo in all it's brilliance. I felt the warmth of P6 POW6R that had been so notably absent from me. "I'm back!" I said to myself...
To
Not Be Continued...
T
...
I had the strangest dream... 
